LeSLiE

The first city is called SunshineLand.  It is sunny, bright, colourful, and populated with cheerful, friendly residents.  There is the occassional storm which comes and goes without warning and laced with spontaneous lightnings and furious thunders.  But soon afterwards, the clouds will break quickly and sun will be shinning again.  The city is busy with people and vehicles buzzling through the various transport networks and hugh establishments.  Although everything is big and bright here, I feel small and lost in this city.  I may not feel lonely but many uncertainties remain.  

The second city is called WinterLand.  It is cold, dark, and rainy.   And scarcely any living things dwell in this city surrounded by thick forests.  In the centre of the city is a garden, with a pretty fountain and a statue of cupid.  There is a single chair for whoever makes it through the forests to take a rest.  Though mostly rainy, there is the occassional sunlight that sips through the thick clouds, like dropping gold from the sky, providing warmth and comfort to anyone who may be in this city.  This city suits my mood and character.  But the forests may be too great a hinderance for me to make it to the centre before I parish silently.

Life is confusing.  Many embrace the apparently good while yearning secretly for the dark.  But few will have the courage to cross the boundary.  SunshineLand may not provide sense of security but it will always provide comfort, although there is always the danger of lurging random storms.  WinterLand may not be always dark and hopeless but who wants to wait for the painfully short and rare sunlight.

Sometimes the enjoyment of being with someone special does not depend on what you say to each other.  Half the time, you will not even remember what you have said the minute before.  Sometimes, it is better not to say anything at all.  It is the special moment when you enjoy the presence of that someone special at a particular time in a particular place that matters.  You may be sitting next to each other on a bench in the park, not speaking a word.  To you, the world will be streaming through every gesture that she makes; even a blink of an eye.  You feel you do not want to be anywhere else but just close to her, and you hope that time will stand still.  In this moment, your heart is filled with contentment, at the same time, overflowing with emotions that you never thought you are capable of feeling.  It is funny but you will realize that she feels exactly the same.  The sun suddenly seems brighter and the breeze gentle, everything else seems to move in slow motion.  All has happened without a word said.  While words are better in conveying thoughts, silence is more powerful in conveying feelings.

Rage is good.  Rage is the basic motivation for mankind to strive for change.  On the macro scale, it is the fuel to fire the engine of civilization forward, by first destroying, then rebuilding, and improving.  On the micro scale, rage can spur a drastic change in man's perception towards his common surrounding, and develop an urge to change the situation he is in, so as to achieve peace and balance between himself and his surrounding.

I feel strong rage now.  Rage in my inability to cope with my own reality.  The hopelessness of my vulnerability.  The inexcusable willingness to allow someone to challenge that vulnerability, and cause indignity in me.  I am withdrawn to a state I had been in a distant past, a period where I have almost forgotten, kept in the deepest corner of my mermory.  The bitterness of an indignified past now lingers in my mind.  Someone has caused me great hurt, whether intentional or not.  Rage, will do me justice, for I will not stand and allow this past to overwhelm me again, not this time.